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How to Make an Emimy Like U Again How to Make an Enemy Be Your Friend

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In that location are lots of reasons someone might feel similar an enemy. Information technology'south possible that you've hurt each other in the by, or you might be really competitive with each other. No thing the reason, having enemies is always an unpleasant situation. Fortunately, you lot might be able to turn your enemy into a friend. Beginning by reaching out to them to commencement the process, then work on mending your relationship. If you do that, y'all and your enemy could be building a friendship together soon!

  1. ane

    Make the first motion to open the lines of communication. If y'all feel comfy, talk to them in person. However, you tin besides contact them online or via text bulletin. Tell them "hello" and ask how they've been doing.[1]

    • You might say, "Hey! How'southward schoolhouse going?" or "Hullo! Information technology's been a long fourth dimension since we've talked. I was wondering how yous've been."

    Variation: If you and your enemy have a mutual friend, it'south okay to ask them to exist a buffer equally you endeavour to initiate contact. Invite both your enemy and the mutual friend to practice something together.

  2. 2

    Invite them to meet yous in a neutral location. They're probably going to exist surprised that you're reaching out to them since y'all've been enemies in the by. That means they may feel nervous nigh coming together up with you. Option a place where neither of you have stiff ties so that you tin can both feel similar equals.[2]

    • For example, you might enquire them to encounter with you at a local coffee firm that merely opened.
    • Yet, it might be best to avoid asking them to meet you at your dejeuner table or at your home.
    • Say, "Want to take hold of a loving cup of coffee at Good Beans?" or "I'm going to feed the ducks at the park. Wanna come?"

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  3. 3

    Give them a reason to meet yous as a friend. At showtime, they might be suspicious about why you're reaching out to them. Recollect nigh how you'd feel if they suddenly started talking to you. Let them know that you want to make upwards. Additionally, testify them you're interested in a real friendship by telling them why you're reaching out.[3]

    • You lot could say, "I know things accept been rocky between u.s., only I don't like that. I'd much rather u.s.a. be friends," or "We've had some conflicts in the past, but I think we have a lot in mutual. Perhaps we could endeavor existence friends."
  4. 4

    Look for common ground that y'all can employ to build a friendship. While you and your enemy may take differences, y'all likely take some things in common. Talk to them to larn more about them. And then, find common interests that unite yous.[4]

    • For case, yous might both enjoy playing soccer, yous may both similar being creative, or yous might both like the same Goggle box bear witness.

    Tip: Sometimes the thing you have in common can be what'southward made you enemies. For instance, perchance you're both into playing tennis and are really competitive with each other. Instead of being enemies, you could try to help each other be your all-time.

  5. 5

    Make friends with your enemy's friend grouping. Having mutual friends will assistance you and your enemy become better friends. Reach out to their friend grouping and invite them to do a group action. You can do this before or after you reach out to your enemy to open the lines of advice.[5]

    • For example, you might host a game night at your home, or you could brand plans to run into a movie as a grouping.

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  1. ane

    Talk to them about how their by deportment fabricated y'all feel. There's probably a reason why this person is an enemy. Consider what they did that pushed yous away from them and how it made you experience. Then, remind them what happened and how information technology affected you.[half dozen]

    • Yous might say, "I know that yous made up that embarrassing nickname that everyone calls me. Information technology actually hurt my feelings that y'all did that."
  2. 2

    Apologize for your deportment that hurt them. While you might not be the master assaulter in this situation, you've probable made some mistakes in the by. Take responsibility for your actions and tell them that you're sorry. This will assist y'all both move on.[7]

    • You could say, "I know that I hurt your feelings, and I'k actually sorry about that. I hope y'all can forgive me," or "I know you're mad that I dated your ex, and I totally understand that. I'thou really sorry for hurting your feelings."
  3. three

    Forgive them for the things they did in the past. They may take really hurt you in the by, but hanging onto that pain volition foreclose y'all from existence friends. Letting become of your pain and anger will help you motion on, so forgive them for what happened. Admit how you experience, and so make a conscious determination to stop carrying that hurting around. You can choose whether or not you want to tell them you forgive them.[8]

    • Telling them you forgive them can go a long way toward forming a friendship. Say, "I capeesh what y'all said. I forgive you for what happened."

    Tip: Forgiving someone doesn't hateful that what they did was okay. It merely means that yous aren't going to carry around the weight of that pain anymore.

  4. four

    Wait for the best in them instead of focusing on their faults. Anybody has good qualities and bad qualities. If yous just look at a person's bad qualities, it'southward piece of cake to recall of them as an enemy. Try seeing this person in a more than positive low-cal by picking out their best qualities.[9]

    • For case, you lot might recognize that they're outspoken, they're good at listening, and they're kind to animals.
  5. 5

    Assign positive motives to their deportment when you're feeling upset. It's likely that they're going to do things that irritate you sometimes. Information technology'due south easy to presume they're doing these things on purpose, but they probably aren't. Instead of getting upset, attempt to recollect of positive or neutral reasons why they might brand these choices.[x]

    • For instance, let'southward say both of y'all signed up for the aforementioned volunteer position and you notice out that they talked to the person in charge to increase their chances of getting it. That might make you feel like they went behind your back. However, you could choose to believe that they had no intention to hurt you lot and just really care nigh the job.

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  1. one

    Maintain regular advice with them. You'll need to communicate with them in society to abound your friendship. Talk to them in person regularly, and keep in touch via text or messaging. Try to check in with them at least a few times a calendar week if not daily.[11]

    • For case, y'all might talk to them every day at piece of work or school. Additionally, you might send each other memes back and forth.
  2. 2

    Listen to them when they're talking. People are more likely to want to be friends with you if they feel like you really listen to them. Make sure that you're focused on what this person is saying rather than thinking virtually your response. Additionally, nod your head and say things like, "uh-huh" to let them know you're listening.[12]

    • Try to echo back what they said to you. You might say, "Wow, it sounds similar work is actually stressful right now."
    • Ask them follow-up questions so they know you've been listening. You might inquire, "Did you e'er figure out what happened?" or "What are you lot going to do now?"
    • Try to bring a non-judgmental attitude to the chat. Brand certain the person knows that you're at that place to listen and be supportive.
  3. 3

    Open to them a little bit at a time to slowly build trust. True friendship requires intimacy, but yous don't need to blitz to blank your soul to them. Information technology'southward okay to take your fourth dimension and slowly reveal details about yourself. Give them a little data at a fourth dimension, and eventually you'll have a practiced friendship.[13]

    • For instance, you lot might start past telling them about a goal y'all're pursuing. Then, yous might reveal a few of your interests that simply your friends know about. Later yous've been friends awhile, you might feel comfortable talking about your secrets or personal problems.
    • Similarly, don't pressure someone else to open upwards to you lot about their past. Build a potent human relationship kickoff; when the time is right, they'll start to open up.

    Tip: You might experience nervous about opening up to this person because they've been your enemy in the by. That's totally okay! Take things wearisome and don't tell them annihilation you don't experience comfy with them knowing.

  4. 4

    Invite them to do things you both enjoy. Spending fourth dimension together will assistance you solidify your friendship. Look for things that both of yous will enjoy, and so invite them to join you. This will help you both have fun with each other.[14]

    • For example, you might invite them to go sentinel your favorite sport together, or you could ask them to bring together you lot for a horror movie fest if you both similar scary movies.
    • Use your common interests to help you pick expert activities.
  5. 5

    Set boundaries so that y'all both know what to await. It'south best to accept things slow so that neither of you gets your feelings hurt. Having good boundaries tin can help you do that. Consider what acquired you to go enemies in the first place, and so effigy out how you can forbid that from happening again. Additionally, identify ways you tin forbid your friendship from moving also fast.[fifteen]

    • For case, permit's say yous and your one-time enemy used to get actually competitive with each other. Yous might set a boundary that you won't trash talk each other.
    • Similarly, yous may be worried that yous're going to share besides much information too fast. To prevent this, y'all both might concur to start your friendship with group hangouts instead of ane-on-one activities.

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  • Don't gossip about your enemy or talk behind their back. This will only make the state of affairs worse.

  • Stand up upward for your enemy if they're getting bullied. Information technology's never okay to bully anyone, even if they've been hateful in the past.

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  • Don't get too close in a curt period of time. Give your friendship time to abound and develop naturally.

  • If you lot feel that this person is a threat to you or someone else, tell someone yous trust immediately.

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Article Summary X

Having enemies isn't very pleasant, so consider making your enemy your friend. Try opening the lines of communication past sending your enemy a text or direct message request them how they've been doing. If you feel comfy enough, y'all tin fifty-fifty talk to them in person. If they seem open to talking to you lot, invite them to a neutral place, like a coffee shop, to conversation. They may seem suspicious about why you lot're reaching out to them, and then let them know early in the conversation that you want to brand upward. For case, say something like "I know things accept been rocky betwixt u.s., but I don't like that. I'd much rather us be friends." To learn how to talk to your enemy about how their past actions made you feel, keep reading.

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